I have recently lost my grandma whom was like a mother to me. Seeing her on the bed where she had passed has been so hard to get out of my head. I think that moment over and over. But also see how peaceful she looked and not in pain anymore. I loved how she knew when I was feeling down she had no other way of expressing her sympathy but to feed me or inform me of her religion.
More than anything I have Matt there with me through everything. But I feel its taking a toll on him more then it is me. I truely believe that he is taking my pain into him. Everytime I feel that pain he comes to me and I feel better, however he looks different. I kind of see it as when we decide to have a kid he will be feeling all my symptoms. lol.
I have some one to help me with the loss of 2 people in my life in the last 7 months. I brought it up to him again about having a kid. Especially because I lost 2 people I care about whom I wanted to see their grandchild and great grandchild.
I just can’t believe that there are some people out there that want some one to miserable because they don’t like their life or whatever. Even when the whole time I’m respectful and nice. They just don’t want you to be happy because for some reason they are not. It really pains my heart to see people in that kind of pain or resentment. Some people just need to stop blaming other people for their unhappy lifes and blame themselves accept it and move on by changing what/who they are not happy with.
Negativity is very consuming, why I only have or try to be positive everyday. Love everyone around me. Respect everyone around me. Don’t judge or talk crap about anyone I don’t know or even I do know. Maybe in the past I did. Talking crap about some one is usually a sign of negativity towards the person like jealousy, anger, regret, etc. I don’t need that type of stress nor does anyone else. To hold those type of restrain/grudges over people.
Matt has been some one that has been a clearity for me. From the first time we met. I knew this guy was it. I don’t need anyone else. He has and will do so much for me. He proves everyday that he is worthy to be by my side. Matt is THE AMAZING PERSON IN MY LIFE…